We are often faced with suffering, that we do nothing about. Right now I am telling you one third of America's wealth is held by 1% of her people, while 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. You will read this, and go about your business.

This is because, to you, the existence of 80% of human individuals is negligeble,  And therein lies the problem.

To be fair, your existence is also negligeble.

Let me outline the origins of my conclusion. Many, many logical arguments start with the supposition that "I exist." "I exist, therefore..."

But do you exist? Yes. However, your existence is very small. You make no impact upon the lives of the vast majority of others. Your existence is so unnoticeable, that it is not factored into the equations of the others. When they say "I exist, therefore..." they do not consult your existence. You are negligeble, and they will do as they please. Perhaps, at the end, they will write you off as a percent error, or collateral damage, or as a "savage."

Why does suffering occur? Because we do not take into account the existence of others when we say "I exist, therefore...". We may be aware others exist, but we will find it negligeble. I am aware they are dying in Sudan, they are starving in India, they are being torn to shreds in Iraq. For most, aware or not, this does not factor into their daily lives or actions. In other words, the existence of those yearning masses is "negligeble."

We commit all our crimes when we assume our rights of existence precede those of others. When the Razakars find the existence of the Bengalis negligeble, when the Janjaweed find the existence of the Darfurians negligeble, when the Hutu find the existence of the Tutsi negligeble, when the Germans find the existence of the Jews negligeble, when the Americans find the existence of the Native Americans negligeble...those are the times in history when blood has flowed in rivers.

The existence of those not in our immediate lives simply does not enter our human conscience. Knowing the suffering in the world, you continue on, yet if that suffering had occurred right in front of you you would surely do something. The difference is not knowledge, for you know of the crime in both cases. The difference is in one case, suffering, and the existence of another, is negligeble to your world. You carry on. Nothing has happened. Its all ok.


The slave, the refugee, the downtrodden, the poor, the hurting, the sick, the abused...the negligeble.

Well, I realized something didn't make sense. Our perception of "I" is messed up. When people answer the question "if you could go back in time what one thing would you differently" they don't realize that any answer other than "nothing" would result in their own death. In a way, anyways.
"I" am not simply my genetics. I am also the result of my choices; the concept of "I" includes memories, and a past. If I radically altered my past, I could radically alter my existence, character traits, relationships, etc. "I" would no longer be there- there would be a different person, with the same genetics. A twin if you will. But not "I."  Even the slightest change would result in a slightly different person.
This is not a common realization. Most people do not take it into consideration. There are many implications. For example, the abortion debate. Let us say a woman named Jane has an unplanned pregnancy, aborts the fetus, gets married 3 years later and has a child. If she had not aborted the first child, the second would not exist. In such cases, emotionalism is useless, and rationalism must take its place. In either situation, there is only one child that exists. The real question is whether that fetus is already a child, with a human personality, and whether that abortion was murder. Simply having the potential to be a child is not enough. In either case, aborted or not, the "potential" of someone's life was destroyed. By aborting, you destroy the potential of the first child. By not aborting, you destroy the potential existence of the second. In other words, we cannot live in the present, based on the potential of the future.

I realized one can think without words. Movement is the key. Movement is a conscious function, yet you don't think "move my hand to the fridge door." It just happens. Yet, it was a conscious activity. This is proof that language, or verbal thought, is not required for something to be conscious. This may be an intuitive conclusion, but it is a reliable proof that I needed, and this is it.

Also, I realized I am against the death penalty, because there is no such thing as an "evil" human. The death penalty destroys the good as well as the bad. That cannot rest on my conscience.

Recently, I've been reading Tolstoy's "Resurrection." Though a novel, it reads more like a philosophical treatise than an actual story; nonetheless I recommend it to everybody.

Throughout the novel we see the theme of responsibility. Essentially, Tolstoy proposes that all the greatest atrocities are committed in the names of insitutions and principles. Who is to blame?

Everyone plays their role; when an innocent man is executed, who is to blame? The jury, who ruled him guilty? The judge, who upheld the decision? The executioner, who carried the orders out?

When the holocaust occurs, who is to blame? Nazi officials never killed anyone! They simply signed papers. The soldiers cannot be blamed! They are not responsible, they were only cogs in the killing machine. Friendly neighbors who decided the Jews had to go? What, how should they know they were sending the neighbors kid to the furnace?

They are all responsible, and yet none are responsible.

So, who is responsible for the 30,000 children who die a day of poverty? The corrupt bastards that spend their government money on bribes and arms, to bomb the same people they are supposed to represent? The superpowers that fund those states?

The citizens who make that superpower possible? One nation, under God?

We are all stained with the blood of the world. Perhaps not directly, but the institution called "world market" allows us to commit ourselves to the most blatantly DISGUSTING shows of immorality humans have ever dreamt up. We live in a bubble of ignorance, not realizing the very world we live in exists on the shoulders of a shadow world, of greed, and pain. We are all responsible for the extract of blood we call society.

A painful realization for a 15 year old. Fortunately, we have measures that ensure the continued blindness of the good consumer...

Please, return to your lives. The coffee is getting cold, the stocks are taking a turn for the worse, in essence we have more important affairs to deal with than the immolation of our souls. No, not hell. Simply, inhumanity.

I have come to the conclusion that consciousness is limited by physical constraints. I was imagining how my perception would be different if the circumstances of my birth had been different. Would I still exist as I do? Would I still perceive myself? I doubt it- "I' would not exist!! Even the exact same genetics, under different circumstances, would yield a different conscience. Yet would I have a similar conscience? Which led me to wonder, what are the differences between various consciences? Why do "I" feel inside "my" head, but "I" cannot feel the thoughts of others? Why is the concept of "I" limited to one body?

This leads me to conclude consciousness, the sense of "I," is not unique, but pinpointed within the physical restraints. It has locality. It could be argued, perhaps, that conscience is universal, and each "soul" has simply separated from the whole and forgotten of its existence. This is the idea espoused in the book "Conversations with God" byNeale Walsch. However, my explanation for the locality of conscience is that it lives, and dies, with the physical structure known as the brain. In retrospect this seems obvious, yet it has been argued in many philosophies that the soul is eternal and connected to everything else. It seems to me quite the contrary- that the conscience is limited by the locality of its nature.

I laugh at capitalism.
The ridiculous scramble for material goods...the relentless rat race...the new car, the new raise, always scrambling for more.

Humanity, our individual greatness and potential, reduced to one ugly label: consumers. Human no more.

As I sat at my school's award ceremony, playing as part of the orchestra, I saw dozens of my peers receive academic distinguishments, from valedictorian to various specific subject awards. I remember being one of them last year, Junior Year, yet this year senioritis had struck. No awards for me.

As I watched them march across the stage, I realized jealousy had emerged within me. I've always been competitive- and I like to win. This time, I didn't, and I was jealous. Jealous, not because anybody on that stage knew or had learned anymore than I did- but because they were getting awards and I wasn't.

Then I realized my own hypocrisy. I'm no different than the foolish consumer I mock. Except I yearn for,  absolutely crave for, awards, and letters of merit, and recognition of my skills, and pieces of paper with my name written on it. I consume just as anyone else in the rat race- yet I collect accolades and titles, in the name of "competition."

When I'm dying, I won't be thinking back on my awards and titles. I will be thinking back on what has always mattered- NOT the accolades. But what I did to receive them.

In the competition, I had forgotten that learning and growing were more important than measley recognition. I realized I was buying into our system just as much as anyone else, being the good little boy striving to do well so I can have my cookie (the award). Marx was right about education- we are dulled, channelled, into aiming for unimportant awards and distinguishments, instead of following our minds wherever they lead us. Why should I be jealous of these awards? Simply because I'm addicted to competition, to winning, to consuming awards. I've joined the rat race. As I grow, it will extend from awards to job positions, to social positions, to having a bigger house, and a bigger car. I was veering towards the same life I loathe.

Instead, I decided I would change my life up a bit. I would certainly compete- with the me of yesterday. I will be my own rival. I will gain knowledge for myself, and my goals. The accolades are secondary, I will not let them rule me. I will not be a consumer.

This is my life, not yours.

Twisted steel
Round dark corridors
Horror from the past
Not a scream, not a roar

Softly dreads
That point of light
Lightly treads
That point of light

Infinite vastness
Between here and here
Yet a grin stretches
From ear to ear

For reader, you know not
That point of light
All is gone
Return to the night

Softly dreads
That point of light
Lightly treads
That point of light

In dark corridors
Engulfed in night
from here to here (ear to ear)
Fights on the light

The first thing we do is break ties with China. The world needs to show China it can't fuck around with genocide and suppression in Darfur and Tibet.

Human Life is precious- we cannot let it go to waste. Furthermore, China is where really democracy is being forged. Often in the US we talk about protecting freedom...

China is the real battlefront for freedom. It is the Chinese that are standing up for freedom today- China is where oppression meets humanity. Humanity must win.

Economic incentives would go to countries with freer systems, such as India, and jobs would return to the US.

The second thing I would do is reform the payment system. I don't need millions of dollars a year, in a world where 24,000 people starve to death a day. My conscience wouldn't be able to handle it. Those men must live in ignorance; or else their conscience would prevent them from living at all.

Finally, I'd use my political clout to BLOCK lobbyists in our government. What a radical idea- using lobbyists to fight lobbyists. Well, I believe Washington is a quagmire belonging to big business, instead of the American people. That needs to change.

Wal-Mart, here I come!!

I think I want to learn how to draw. Why all of a sudden?

I was thinking about what makes us distinct, precious creatures. really, its our ability to create. What an amazing, god-like ability!!

Hands that create; these are the signatures of the free. In our world, many do not have the opportunity to create, yet they manage to create families, and homes, and lives.

What else can we create? Music. One of man's greatest creations. Science: how fascinating is the creation of new ways to test the world? Literature- a fine creation indeed.

anyways, I want to create even more. Next stop- ART!! =)

It's the people. Materials come and go, and you can't derive your happiness on them. Aqcuisition of materials brings temporary happiness...but it doesn't stay.

You need to make a difference to people. Only then can you go gentle into that good night...

No, I don't believe in God. I feel as though God is something we create to handle our problems, to blame, to trust, to justify ourselves and our way of life. However, I will take responsibility for myself, my problems, and I myself will determine my place in the world. Is there a God? I cannot say for sure. Do I believe there is a God? No, I have no reason to.

I belive in Man.